Rocking a Routine for the Rest of 2017
Attempting One, At Least.
An adventurous spirit like mine sabotages every attempt at routine. I throw subconscious monkey-wrenches hell-bent on destruction every time I try to do the same thing indefinitely on autopilot. But with this new year, I wanted to shift my perspective. With my sights set on my 35th birthday (conveniently in June, giving me a natural annual half-way reset point to every calendar year), I told myself I was going to make an adventure out of the routine. With routine being so foreign to my natural state of being, it is difficult — sometimes impossible — to wrangle my day into a scheduled, regimented format. January was proof of that.
The ball dropped into 2017 and I caught the flu. Probably in the same second. So, instead of joining the New Year edition of My 50 in 100 on January 1st, I writhed in my bed whimpering for my mom. That very uncomfortably repeated itself for the first three weekends in January. Like clockwork, on a Sunday or Monday, I would take to my bed, unable to function, take care of myself, or my child. It was horrendous.
The days in between were spent resting and attempting to survive daily life so as to start fresh the following Monday morning. And so passed January.
A series of unfortunate roadblocks have followed, but none so life-altering as the one that stopped my life in its tracks on February 22, 2017. That was the day I almost lost my daughter as diabetic keto acidosis poisoned and shut down her system until she began to lose consciousness, and we were airlifted to the nearest children's hospital. We arrived just in time and she rebounded, thank everything-that-is-goodness. But in the process, we found out that she is a type 1 diabetic and that she also has Celiac disease*. Wham wham. It's been a tumultuous couple of weeks as we adjust to this new reality.
But the one thing it begs for—requires for survival, in fact—is routine. A fairly precise, to-the-minute schedule now governs my day.
I know this kind of thing is second nature for some people. There are people who will read this completely baffled at why I’m trying to figure out the equivalent of my ABC’s and sell it as the second coming. Those folks are also likely the same ones who could never handle life perpetually and indefinitely on the road, with no solid home base, where every turn brings an unexpected chance, change, error or opportunity. Add in a child for version 2.0 bonus points — I’ve lived nomadically both ways and loved it. My comfortable, natural habitat is on the move with no rigid plans.
So I need to convince myself to commit to, and survive (thrive in!) what feels unnatural to my being, Bur for my daughter and ultimately, for my own health, too, I will put all of my focus on rocking a routine for the rest of 2017. It even has its own rhyming hashtag, #routine2017.
I’m talking back-to-basics-style. Eat clean to restore my health, adrenals, gut and energy. Move my body every day. Re-incorporate self-love into my wake up and bed times. Go to bed early enough to rock a morning routine. The basic basics. This is take 3,093,882,020 in that department since my daughter was born, but on a new level. And to help myself stay committed to this new routine, I'm noting a few "why's" for when I want to give it all up (in one week or less whenever I remember that doing this is really hard, every day).
- It's time for my external strength to reflect my internal strength.
The amount of shit I've survived in the past three years is hard for me to wrap my head and heart around sometimes. And yes, I know others have and do suffer worse. We're all dealt only that which we can handle. And I've been maxed, but I survived and like a fucking lotus flower (more on the lotus in my life right now in another post soon), I am reborn so fresh and so clean, clean every goddamn time, ready to try again. It's time that I respect and honor my body enough to allow it to reflect the strength inside of me, before I push it too far, and it gives up on me.
- My actions are an example for an ever-tuned-in parrot-mirror (my daughter).
Sheeeeeee's waaaaaattttccchhhhing me. And now, I am forced to enforce a strict diet upon her life and try to make it delicious and enticing at the same time. If I'm asking her to adjust to and embrace the ultimatum to be better, purer and stronger, who am I to reject the call and leave my daughter to face it alone? The more I eat what she is eating, and pause to teach her (and remind myself) to value the time it takes to cook, serve, eat and appreciate a meal will go a long way in preventing these diseases from removing the joy from food in our family's life.
- I deserve it.
Simple, but true. I have tried to leverage a routine for my health so many times and succumbed to the story in my head that it's too hard, or not worth it. I'm worth it. I deserve to wear my closet full of cute clothes and feel confident. I deserve to turns heads again and feel worthy. I do not need to shut down and shut it out. I will feel the physical discomfort and be patient with myself as I work through it, just as I have with the pain on the inside.
This time, I’m going to remember that:
- Every step forward matters. All the little ones add up to the creation of long-term momentum and positive change. That means every workout I do or do not do; every food I choose to eat or not eat; whether or not I take all of my supplements; and every day that I chose to use or not use this routine to my advantage.
- Conversely, every little step backwards is not a reason to stop or slow down. If anything, it’s a reason to push forward, and work harder with renewed commitment. Every single morning, if that’s what it takes.
- There is a marker in sight. A summer vacation rest in three months’ time in the company of the people I love the most, where I will mark 35 years on this rotating snow globe. I will bask in my progress on my holiday, and then get back into action when I return home to real life and #routine2017.
- But most importantly, all of this is for my daughter: my health, her health and a routine that optimizes both.
If there’s one constant in my life, it’s picking up the pieces and starting over again, and again and again...
It’s time once more, so let’s see where this #routine2017 adventure takes me.
*Why yes, this news does deserve its very own blog post, and it shall be written. I have so much to say and yes, I'm still stunned in silence as I absorb and process everything that just happened. For now, I move forward day by day through routine.